Texts from Rise of the Guardians

RSS
(267):I think I’ve been there, but who knows? I drink a lot

(267):

I think I’ve been there, but who knows? I drink a lot

(304):You’ve been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don’t how big his dick is.

(304):

You’ve been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don’t how big his dick is.

(479):I don’t know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.

(479):

I don’t know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.

(256):Seriously, it’s 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!

(256):

Seriously, it’s 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!

(330):The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind(1-330):Well it worked(330):Not the point

(330):

The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind

(1-330):

Well it worked

(330):

Not the point

(313):Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you’re proud.

(313):

Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you’re proud.

(+44):I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid

(+44):

I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid

(303):I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he’d understand.

(303):

I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he’d understand.

Sep 9
(306):Fuck that, come home. Let’s get drunk and judge people.

(306):

Fuck that, come home. Let’s get drunk and judge people.

Sep 8
(306):a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed “ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!”, then ran off into the bushes

(306):

a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed “ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!”, then ran off into the bushes