Texts from Rise of the Guardians

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Sep 1
(320):God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier…

(320):

God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier…

(860):You’re not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island(1-860):Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then

(860):

You’re not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island

(1-860):

Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then

(270):Oh my god I found my bf’s erotica(270):OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.(270):OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.

(270):

Oh my god I found my bf’s erotica

(270):

OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.

(270):

OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.

(519):You kept yelling “NO CAPES” at me for no apparent reason

(519):

You kept yelling “NO CAPES” at me for no apparent reason

(949):Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.

(949):

Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.

(918):It’s like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here

(918):

It’s like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here

(678):Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.

(678):

Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.

(303):Why is your ex naked in my apartment?

(303):

Why is your ex naked in my apartment?

(901):I’ve decided that it’s a bad thing. But I’ve also decided that I don’t give a fuck.

(901):

I’ve decided that it’s a bad thing. But I’ve also decided that I don’t give a fuck.

(248):Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied

(248):

Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied