Texts from Rise of the Guardians

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(902):I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there’s no hope for us

(902):

I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there’s no hope for us

(713):Well if you don’t want to be kicked out before last call don’t I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don’t call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo “princess”

(713):

Well if you don’t want to be kicked out before last call don’t I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don’t call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo “princess”

(541):I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.

(541):

I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.


(913):This is why I’m not putting my name in lights over your bed.

(913):

This is why I’m not putting my name in lights over your bed.

(530):I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it’s him.

(530):

I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it’s him.

(410):I’m gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.

(410):

I’m gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.

(317):he’s had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.’(630):oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.

(317):

he’s had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.’

(630):

oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.

(609):The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making

(609):

The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making

(678):So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I’m going in

(678):

So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I’m going in

(402):A surplus of mistakes were made and I don’t know what 89% of them were.

(402):

A surplus of mistakes were made and I don’t know what 89% of them were.