I call him Seabiscuit because he’s my trusty steed
He’s hot and has an accent therefore you don’t ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i’m so frustrated
Blood everywhere…karaoke was nice
I don’t care if we’re married you can’t just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Well I’m about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I’m disappointed in how little alcohol is in me